WHAT THE HELL IS WITH ALL THESE FUCKING ANTS
they're friggin everywhere
I had hoped we'd fixed this stupid problem. We've always had a huge problem with ants in this house -- well, I've always had a huge problem with ants in this house. Everybody else is like "oh they're just tiny little bugs get over it already they aren't gonna hurt you" to which I respond "are you blind THEY ARE THE DEVIL IN AN EXOSKELETON they will crawl into your skin while you sleep and nest in your lungs" but nobody ever listens to me, I'm craaazy. Well we'll see who's crazy soon. We'll see!!
But anyway. Ants.
We had a problem with ants, there's always been a couple of ant hills around the house. Couple of steps from the back door, anthill. Side of the house by the window, anthill. End of the driveway, anthill. Middle of the driveway, anthill. Just ants all the time. The worst one was last summer, though. We were repairing the front eaves and it turns out there was a leak on the corner. The wet wood had started to rot, just a bit at the front, and then the ants invaded and destroyed it, making a nest inside my roof
inside my roof inside my roof INSIDE MY ROOF THE SQUATTING BASTARDS
and all summer they were just crawling all over the place -- I literally threw a plate of spaghetti across the room on reflex because I went to pick it up and saw it crawling with ants. The little bastards ruined my spaghetti! My spaghetti! Is nothing sacred?!
So anyway. We found this fucking ant nest inside our roof, had to replace that part of the roof entirely, sprayed poison everywere, did everything in our power to kill the fuckers
and
they
still
won't
leave
It is just the worst thing, knowing that there are insects crawling everywhere. You get hyper-aware of your skin. Every errant tickle is an ant crawling up your leg. Do you have long hair? Imagine just getting a long hair somewhere, and you feel this constant tickle up your arm and in your head you're like "it's probably just a stupid frigging hair stuck in my shirt" but you keep reacting with OHGODIT'SONMEGETITOFFGETITOFF
I don't care what anybody says. Ants are terrifying fucking bastards and if you think anything different then clearly they have already gotten you. I'm sorry. You're one of Them now. Serving Their needs and dancing to Their dark, unholy song. There's just nothing I can do to help at this point, you're lost to the human race forever.
Fucking ants.
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