Sunday, June 16, 2013

If You Love Musicals....

Give Jekyll and Hyde a miss.  Specifically the David Hasselhoff version, which is the only one I've seen, but I assume they're all varying degrees of terrible.  I literally just finished watching it in the past five minutes, and already I can't remember a single tune from it.  I watched it thinking, "Okay, so this isn't great, but so far I've been able to find something to enjoy in every musical I've seen.  Surely sooner or later I'll hit that one guilty-pleasure song that makes the whole thing worth it, right?"  Nope, never happened.  Once or twice a song would start with one or two notes that would make me pay attention because hey, that's sort of good! Except then it would immediately go terrible again.  The lyrics were really lazy (at one point they rhymed "doorstep" with "your step," how the hell did they get away with that), and the performance was....well.  I did enjoy the first transformation scene, but not because it was good.  I enjoyed it the same way I enjoy watching clips of The Room on Youtube.  Which is not a compliment, to say the least.

I would continue with other vaguely-reviewish-words, but I don't have much else to say.  Like I said, I only just finished watching it, so I haven't had time to dwell on anything or come up with fancy reasons why not to like it.'s bad.  That's all I got.  The Hoff's acting is ridiculous, everybody else is bland, flat and forgettable, the "romance" sub plots between Jekyll, the orange lady and that stripper chick are completely lacking in...everything, really.  And I had a really hard time suspending my disbelief.  Like, I'm familiar enough with the story, as everyone is, to know that Jekyll's potion thing will work, but while he was petitioning the...medical board, I guess?  To let him begin human trials, it sounded so ridiculous that even I was going, what the hell are you on dude, this is not science. I would have agreed with the medical board that he's off his rocker and shouldn't get to do his experiment, but they were all like "You're going against God's will, you're crazy!" instead of "This is the most ridiculous theory I've ever heard, I thought you were a doctor for goodness sakes, what half-rate hotel of a school would give you a medical degree?"  I didn't care about any of the characters.  Not the stripper lady who got killed at the end, not the bride lady who...didn't?  I don't think she did, I was pretty bored by then so I wasn't watching all that closely.  Overall, it might have been the worst musical I've ever seen.  Even worse than West Side Story.  Even that had one or two songs going for it, this thing was just completely forgettable, all the way through.

Well, that's it, that's pretty much all I can think of right now.  Maybe in a day or two when I've had a chance to let the experience stew in my brain for a bit I'll have something more clever to say, but it's all I've got for now.  Bad musical, did not enjoy, do not recommend.

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