Saturday, June 15, 2013

"Being Needy"

Look, it's fantastic. I have to find out where this thing came from.

There's this huge stigma against girls being "needy" and most women I know (including myself!) jump through so many hoops so we're not considered clingy or desperate when we're dating a guy, but why isn't there any kind of stigma against guys who start being really distant and emotionally disconnected and who start criticizing everything their girlfriend does or says?

True story, I once felt really crappy while dating a guy because he convinced me I was selfish and needy because I demanded too much of him sometimes.  Like, expecting him to, if not hold my hand, then at least be willing to walk down the street within ten feet of me instead of keeping his distance like I had the plague.  Or for pressuring him too much to hang out, when I hadn't seen him in a month.  This same guy decided, about six months into the relationship, that I chewed too loudly and would criticise me every time I took a bite, until once he literally leave the room until I finished eating.  This came out of nowhere.  One day everything was fine and then over dinner, "Holy crap, how can you eat like that?  It's disgusting, can you please try not to deafen me."  Where did it come from?  Why did I stay with a guy who acted like this?  Well, I don't know where it came from, other than "it turns out he was kind of a dick," but I stayed with him because by the time his behaviour got that ridiculous, he'd convinced me that ever feeling that I deserved more from him than what he was willing to give made me a needy, clingy girlfriend who nobody could love because I was just so needy and clingy, and that a good relationship meant never ever talking about negative things because then I'd just be trying to start a fight and he'd get upset and I'd have to stop talking about whatever it was and spend the rest of the day trying to soothe his hurt feelings or else the relationship was over and somehow that would be a bad thing, I don't even know.  Next time you hear a girl being described as needy, stop and look closely for a minute and think about if what she needs is really so extreme.  Maybe she's just dating an asshole.

1 comment:

  1. Life is short, relax and enjoy it :)