Saturday, September 8, 2012

Soap Mummies FTW


 Holy crap, look how friggin' awesome these dudes look!  How lucky are they, huh?

When I kick it, I want to be planted in good soap-mummy-growing-ground so I turn into a giant people-shaped block of waxy death-soap, and then eventually dug up and put on display somewhere to look totally fucking badass.  Like this lady!

She looks pretty happy about the whole situation, right?  Of course she does.  Who wouldn't be?

I guess if being a soap mummy is off the table I'd settle for being one of those other, boring mummies.  Or maybe sent to a body farm, that would be cool too.  Just hanging out with a bunch of other corpses, having a rot party.

But I don't want to be like, some Immaculate Lenin style corpse where I look all fresh and sleepy-dead.  I want to be this terrifying monstrosity that is the embodiment of death.  I want people to look at me and go "Oh holy shit, am I gonna look like that when I die?  OHGODNIGHTMARES" and go home and look at their kids and be all, "my children will die and be terrifying."  And my mummy-corpse will be satisfied.

Baby corpse, always classy.  Aww yiss.

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